Oh editing, how do I loathe thee, let me count the ways.
I won't really count the ways. I find it easier to be witty when not writing in list form. That doesn't mean I hate editing any less, however. I do. I really, really do.
While I was struggling madly this summer to finish my first draft of Unpolished Gem, people often gave me incredibly heartening encouragements such as, "You're almost over the hump!" and, "It's all easy after this!" and, "The hard part is almost done!" What I've come to realize, gentle readers, is that those people were either a) liars or b) some combination of sadists/masochists, (or, perhaps the most likely option, c) my friends and family who were hoping I'd stop crying and get off the floor). Because, while the idea that once a novel is written then all you have to do is fix it and that's easy is incredibly comforting while in the death throes caused by the end of a first draft? In my case, at least, it just didn't turn out to be true.
Sure, I hit lots of bumps while writing my first draft. Yes, I changed my mind six times as I wrote about the nature of my magical (not magical? full of magical people? just really freaking LARGE? uh, magical again?) forest and my draft reflects that, BUT I was pushing the story forward, I was getting to know my characters better, and (JOY OF JOYS) I was discovering how it would end! When it was done I felt accomplished, I felt invincible, I was the Queen of the World.
I had no idea what I was in for.
The problem with all those little inconsistencies and plot bumps I left behind to "go back and fix later"? Is that now... I have to go back and fix them. And while I know that editing is probably the most important part of the writing process, for me it lacks the thrill that comes with first telling a story. I know what happens now in this tale; I have three more stories in that back of my mind that want to be written - can't I move on to those?
No. I can't. Because I believe in my project, I believe in my story, and I believe in myself. Which means, no matter how frustrated I get, no matter how much I want to throw the computer and manuscript out the window every. single. time. that I find yet another reference to what I've come to affectionately think of as The Forest of Inconsistency, I have to soldier on. I have to turn on 'I Have Confidence' from the Sound of Music and sing it over and over and over again, loudly, until I remember that it's the things that scare me, that are hard, that are unfamiliar and frustrating, that are often the most rewarding, (and the most likely to get me married to a sexy Austrian naval captain).
Lest you think I'm giving second drafts a bad rap, mine has been helpful. Things make more sense. New storylines have emerged. My characters seem more three-dimensional. All of the good things that should happen with a second draft are happening. It's just that sometimes I get so bogged down in the semantics and the comma splices and That Damned Forest that I forget to focus on the good stuff.
Maybe that's what the second draft is really about in the end: finding your way out of The Forest of Inconsistency so you can see more clearly on the other side.
Okay, so, maybe I don't hate editing quite as much as I thought. Don't tell.
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Ugh, I feel your pain. I feel it SO MUCH. But I am also ridiculously proud of you for this, man. It is going to be so worth it when I get to read the book.....
ReplyDeleteI mean when you look at your finished book!
I've been there. You exactly summarized my experience with my second draft. But the work really does pay off! For me, things started looking much better by drafts four and five, probably because I'd managed to bushwhack my way through most of the suck. I also more or less hated the sight of the book by that point, so I was very motivated to finish it :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the name "Forest of Inconsistency," less so the actual phenomenon XD. It took me three drafts to iron out (I hope) my magical system. What was great (-_-) was that I kept discovering new things as I fixed the problems, which meant I had *more* to fix afterwards. I think I changed the end 7 times.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be worth it in the end. In fact, there should be cake at the end. Good luck!
Hannah - Haha, you're HILARIOUS.
ReplyDeleteStephanie - I think I'm a little spoiled by watching my mother write. She's a novelist and she never seems to have to do more than about a draft and a half! But maybe she just distracts me with her copy-edits and cover designs so I don't see her freak outs :D
Cab - Oh, I am very familiar with having a BRILLIANT IDEA and then realizing that you have to change four subsequent story threads so everything makes sense. Isn't that the worst? But I agree about the cake! Cake and victory are in our futures!